John F. writes: I attempted to fly on your airline this Saturday from LaGuardia to Montego Bay, Jamaica with my girlfriend. We happened upon your airline as it was part of an all-inclusive package we booked with cheapcaribbean.com. I figured that this website wouldn’t associate itself with an airline that’s in the business of fucking people over and losing money, but hey, what do I know?
I got to the airport two hours early and stood patiently in line with a bunch of other unsuspectingly doomed souls. Upon reaching the counter, we were informed that the plane we were supposed to have flown on had been “downgraded” to a smaller plane and our paid tickets, along with our paid (are you fucking kidding me?) seat assignments were null and void. We were offered no alternatives aside from one of the clerks writing “Say you are here to buy a ticket” on a piece of paper and quietly sliding it to me. Apparently I was supposed to tell her manager this, but this made zero fucking sense because I had a ticket, your airline had my money in its grimy pockets, and I wasn’t about to part with more of it.
At this point, an angry mob began forming, yelling at the clerks and demanding answers as to why they couldn’t get on the plane with their paid tickets to see their families, attend weddings and funerals, or simply to take an already booked and paid for vacation. I have never before seen such a mass of humanity devolve into a group of bloodthirsty primitives in any social situation. All social norms and mores flew out the window (the only thing doing any flying that day) as little old grandmas were screaming at your shell-shocked clerks whose coping mechanism for working for such a shitty airline is to stare through people and not give fuck about customer service. At this point, with my girlfriend in tears as she came to the realization we actually weren’t on Candid Camera and this was indeed a perverse reality, I decided cheapcaribbean.com deserved a call.
However, it was hard to hear the woman, Kelly, who picked up. Kelly, by the way, could run your entire customer service department better than the organgutan throwing feces on a computer monitor you have now. As it stands right now I could possibly be out $500 bucks from “cancellation fees” from the hotel because the plane I intended to board to get to said hotel DOESN’T EXIST.
To your airline’s credit, I did get my money back for the tickets. However, you completely ruined my planned vacation. I will never fly your airline again, in fact I will go out of my way to post this letter on every social networking site I use. I wouldn’t put my worst enemy through that travel experience. I blame myself for not researching your company before agreeing to take a swift kick in the junk from it, but I am delighted to see that you are a public company. I will be shorting your stock and making back my money and then some.